Self development selfmasteries 148 views


Most often when we’re asked to “define yourself”, our main focus is on the negative or how we compare to other people. I struggled with this for what felt like the longest time but that is not how I define myself anymore. Although no one can tell you who you are or who you should be, I want to give you some tips on how I managed to find my true self because it’s the best thing I ever did for myself.

top tips brainstorm


It is important to listen to our inner selves and really become aware of the story we are repeating in our minds. I overlooked this step at the start of my self-development journey not realizing just how important it is. The simple fact is that if you fail to get to know yourself, you’ll be defined by other factors instead or you’ll take on someone else’s opinions on as your own.

When you know who you are, what your purpose is and why you do the things that you do, nothing can shake you. This is why you need awareness.

You can grab my free guide here which talks in more detail about awareness!  


When you first do this, it might seem odd. It did to me for a while until it became a practise. You will need to drop all judgement of yourself and silence your inner critic while doing this work.

All you need to do is find your favourite spot or somewhere comfortable to sit for a while. Then, take a few deep breaths. Start observing what springs to your mind. And then ponder on that thought. For instance, you might realize that you have a tendency to get upset easily. All you need here is acknowledgement. If judgements start coming up, start again with the deep breaths.


You can either jot your thoughts down or just make mental notes. This will allow you to identify particular thought patterns so we can then work on eliminating them. Listen to what your mind is specifically telling you and what sensations you can feel while these thoughts come up.

Again, this step requires non self-judgement so remember to keep taking deep breaths as your mind jumps from one thought to another.

When you can start seeing your thought patterns clearly, whether on paper or in your mind, you then have the choice of which of these things you want to identify yourself with or how you do currently identify yourself.

Note how you define yourself


Think about what is true deep inside you. Is honesty important to you? Is living with true compassion your way of life? What do you morally believe is right or wrong?

I personally love this step. Yes, we all know we were bought up in a certain way based on someone else’s rules or we learned to adopt our parents’ values but, do you fully understand why you have these values? Our core values are what make us. When you can remind yourself daily what these are, you will find true purpose in your life.

A great way to remind yourself of what is important to you and how you define yourself as a person.


When asked whether we can do a particular thing…. Why do we insist on saying, ‘oh no I can’t do that?’. For instance, if you’ve never tried ice skating. Someone asks if you can ice skate and you tell them you can’t.

It’s not that you CANT. It’s just that you’ve never done it before so your answer should be ‘I don’t ice skate’. Because, if you really wanted to, you could and you would.

This is so important to remember when it comes to how you define yourself.


What are your thoughts?!

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