learning how to overcome fear
Self confidence selfmasteries 199 views


This post is going to be about my struggle with low self esteem and also how I completely overcame it. I hope that it gives someone else that little bit of hope if they are struggling too. It is absolutely possible to turn it all around for yourself no matter what you are going through.

It was a long process but I had to teach myself to become the person I wanted to be. I wasn’t always this sure of myself and I realized that I had to take massive action to achieve what I wanted in life. I used to only dream of being the person I am today and I want you to know that if it was possible for me, then its absolutely possible for you too!

Whether it’s the occasional bit of anxiety you have during a public speech or whether it’s uncontrollable anxiety on a daily basis where you just cannot function, you CAN transform your life and I am living proof of it.
When I started my self development journey I was overwhelmed with just how much information there is out there and I suffered with information overload. But, ACTION is the only way to bring about any change. After hours upon hours of searching for self help tips, guides and articles, I made the decision to STOP and take the first step into taking massive action. Only then did things start to change…

This is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself. I tried to convince myself that I was going to be fine and that I didn’t need anyone to try to fix me. This is where I was wrong. If you are obviously struggling, weak from stress or are unable to function on a daily basis, then you do need help.

For years I would put this off until I finally caved in when I couldn’t take it anymore – I walked out of my new job after being there a week. I wasn’t able to explain at the time that I was dealing with a lot inside me and that I couldn’t function on the job or even pretend to listen while I was there. I finally broke down after trying to be strong for so long.

Read My Story – Depression

Little did I know that, although I felt so defeated I had finally taken the first step in becoming the very proud person I am today! It is 100% possible. Once you take the first step in ACCEPTING your situation, your possibilities for improvement become endless.

You are only going to notice what your thoughts tell you if you decide to make a conscious decision to become aware of them. Only then can you work on changing them. This is an extremely powerful technique that I learned from the awareness master Eckhart Tolle. He explains in depth how to achieve a high level of awareness and live a more mindful life in his book called Power Of Now. After reading this book countless times, I will recommend it over and over to anyone I think would benefit from it. Whether you are religious, spiritual or neither, you will benefit a massive amount from what he says if you take action. Aside from the fact that it is written so beautifully, it covers anything and everything you need to know on how to live a life of peace and tranquility.

When you really become quiet and listen to your mind, you will realize just how much nonsense there is stored in our minds. If we listen to and believe each and everything our mind tells us, then we really are doomed. But if you chose to only believe some of the thoughts we have but not the others, then we most certainly CAN replace those thoughts with thoughts we want to believe instead. The book goes into so much more detail regarding this topic and I highly recommend giving it a read.

Even when your feeling unmotivated or unproductive, it is so important for you to remember that you can either do nothing or spend some time to refocus your mind on something else. It may seem like there is nothing of interest to you especially when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed but you have to refocus your mind on something else completely. This is the only way to overcome the negative feelings.

Distraction is an amazing tool when used correctly. NOTHING can be achieved from spending hours overthinking, procrastinating or feeling sorry for your self. And you most definitely CAN overcome these feelings if you realize that the only way to feel better is to force yourself to do something. Anything, other than allow your thoughts to consume you.

It felt pointless for me to do anything when I had lost motivation because nothing was enjoyable anymore. However when you realize there is no secret or miracle that will happen to change your life for you, you have to decide to take full control. No amount of self help books you read or courses you to take will change you… the only change comes from the action you take. There is no more to it. Make a commitment to yourself.
Creativity is a skill that can be worked on with time and effort. But for those that don’t believe they have a creative side you can either;

  • read a book
  • listen to your favorite music
  • dance along to some music (even if you can’t dance)
  • doodle in your spare time etc.

Every one of us has an imagination, a desire or a need/want. To want to change or improve yourself, you must already have an idea in your mind of who you want to be and the kind of life you want to live. Here is where you can use visualization to your full advantage. The more you think about something and the more desperately you WANT something, the more likely it is that you are going to take whatever steps are needed to achieve what it is you want. I strongly believe that if you can imagine having something you don’t already have in your mind, you can most certainly have it in your life. All that is needed is a clear, mental imagine of exactly what t it is you want.
Ask yourself these questions;

  • What exactly is it that I want to change/achieve?
  • What would it feel like to finally achieve this?
  • What difference will this make in my life?
  • Can I achieve this on my own?
  • What is the first step that I could take today?
  • What do I have to learn to accomplish this?
  • What do I have to change in my life to achieve this?

Once you’ve laid out the foundations for what it is that you want, you can then start planning the steps you are going to take. You can make notes as you go through each question and follow the notes from start to finish. The main thing to remember is your WHY. Why is it that you want to achieve or change this particular thing and what benefit will it bring to your life?


If anyone was to ask me a few years back what I want my life to look like, I would of said exactly the way it is now. I don’t recognize the person I used to be now. I was afraid of life, had no belief in myself or abilities, was hopeless and lost. Today, I am the complete opposite of those things and it is all thanks to the way I imagined my life to be. It all starts with a thought in your mind. You can manifest anything you want into your life as long as you want it badly enough. Then nothing can stop you!
Another AMAZING book to read is ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne – It’s another one to keep on your bookshelf.
The book’s main focus is on the ‘Law of Attraction‘. It talks in detail about how to manifest what you want in life – highly recommended.

It’s easy to forget sometimes why you do what you do and forget about the bigger picture. However, you have to remember that setting yourself achievable goals is a simple route to achieving larger, more ambitious goals.
Without setting specific, realistic goals, it is easy to get lost in the world with no sense of purpose for our lives. Without a sense of purpose, we risk falling victim to feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. This in turn will affect our sense of self worth.

We can either start setting goals for ourselves for what we want to achieve in life or we can either sit back and let life happen to us. It’s completely your choice.
Start setting yourself goals if you don’t do so already. Once you achieve even your smallest goal, you will feel excitement, fulfillment and a greater sense of personal satisfaction with your life!



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  1. FREE SELF ESTEEM GUIDE - Self Masteries

    […] self esteem and realizing my self worth is what completely transformed my life. You can read ‘My Struggle with Low Self Esteem‘ which goes into more […]

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